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Confessions of a Flipflop Revolutionary
Viva la Revolution!!!
I got to stay home today. Which means I basically slept all day, which means that now that it's night time, I can't fall asleep. So instead of...yeah, sleeping, I'm watching one episode of 'House M.D.' over and over again. My primary reason for doing this is because I like this episode a lot, but I'm also a little curious as to whether or not watching it too many times will wear a ring into the disc, or something equally unlikely. Today was the weirdest day I've had for a while.  I got up at 7:30 a.m., and ate breakfast. I forgot to take my pills, and took a shower. then I went into my room and passed out on my bed until 11:30 a.m., which was bad, because I have to be at school at 12:00 p.m. I then decided that I didn't really want to go to school, so I started thinking of reasons why I didn't want to. At my house one must justify staying at home, and if your justification is not satisfactory, you get packed off to school with some motrin, and a command to suck it up. So, in the middle of thinking up reasons, I decided to call my mom, and leave a message, figuring that she wouldn't answer. She did. so I proceeded to tell her that I didn't want to go, and she said if I was sure that there was probably nothing important happening today, then that was fine, but I had to bring the laundry downstairs and do a bunch of chores if that was the case. So I agreed and hauled all the clothing downstairs in a daze, before returning to my room, filling out a survey, posting it on my bulletin on Myspace, and then passing out on top of my computer. I wake up at about 6:00 p.m., and haul myself out to the living room for family time, where we eat, and watch  TV, and whatever. That lasted until about 9:00 p.m., when I again passed out in my bed, only to wake up at 12:00 a.m., and scan my computer for viruses (17 of them, thank you very much). Basically, my day sums up to the fact that I barely moved, didn't leave the house, didn't really talk to anyone, and I accomplished nothing. But I have to say, the cherry on top of my wonderful day is that for the last forty five minutes, I've been throwing up small amounts of bile that for some inexplicable reason seem to come out of my nose.

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I am in: the bottom of the lake
I am listening to: Blurry - Puddle of Mudd

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I thought that today was the day of our Biology semester final, so I stayed up late last night studying for it, and then spent the five hours before school (I get up at seven so that I can take my pills, and shower and stuff, but then I usually go back to sleep until about 10:00 a.m.) studying my notes some more, only to discover upon arriving that our semester final does not take place until next week. Don't get me wrong, the test is going to be over 89% ecology, so I should do fairly well. That's not the point. The point is that I neglected to even make myself look half way presentable for no reason. Call me vain if you will; but my already fragile self esteem can't take too many days of that before I just start wearing a face mask. Sure I'll get funny looks, but at least my face will be covered.

Today was my last Wellness class too, which is a good thing, because I've hated the teacher since the first day. I'm generally pretty easy going, but when you arrive half an hour late to your own class, only to start being mean to some really nice heavy girl, then we are going to have a problem. Even if it is a wellness class, you'd think that the teacher might be somewhat aware that some of her students are a little more portly, and thus make efforts to use clinical terms. 'An obese woman' sounds a whole lot better than 'That fat lady I see at the grocery store sometimes.' Honestly, I made a decided effort not to listen too closely to anything the woman said, because she irritated me, and so I'm not sure if my report is factual, but I could swear that she taught us several things that were not true.

1. You can not be in a healthy relationship, unless you are having sex.
2. Asians do not commit crimes of violence.
3. You cannot be emotionally healthy unless you act like Jesus Christ.

There are probably more. I just can't think of them off the top of my head, because as I  mentioned before I tried my darnedest not to listen to the woman during any time that I did not absolutely have to. She was pregnant, and she'd make comments about how America today is disgusting because she didn't even have to buy maternity clothes, just get the ones for people who are larger. It made me wonder why someone would do that. Isn't the purpose of maternity wear that you know someone is pregnant rather than just overweight? For someone who hates fat people so much, she's not being very smart.

My math final is coming up as well, and I have this sneaking suspicion that I bombed it. I guess it could be worse though. I could work at FOX, and then everyone would hate me.

Goddamn that network, for canceling both Firefly and Family Guy. FOX, you fail so hard that you make Chin-chan look hot.

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I am in: an Aeroplane over the Sea
I'm feeling: tired tired
I am listening to: Pretend You're Alive - Lovedrug

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So I had a pretty good day today, and I was feeling a little cheery, even though I failed my math test (realistically, I never expected to pass it anyway. Trying to talk to me about numbers is like trying to shove a walrus through a garden hose. I like to think that I'm just destined for writing instead.). So I decided to study some Biology. Because there's also a test tomorrow, in that subject. I read through a few sets of notes, before I came upon a portion that should have been innocent enough in the hands of anyone with half a brain.

"Estimated number of species on Earth = 2,000,000 – 10,000,000 about 1,500,000 named to date."

I didn't think much about it. After all, it wasn't funny or disastrous until I clicked back into the messaging window that belonged to one of my friends from Canada (God, I love Canadians.). On impulse I sent her that little tidbit, and then proceeded to have what probably appeared to be a seizure on top of the keyboard to her.


LUCKILY, my friend is excessively cool, and just went with it, rather than succumbing to my awkwardness and scampering off to a corner in which to cry in. Seriously, I love this girl.


Here the conversation took a brief respite while I proceeded to expel Dr. Pepper from my nostrils, and choke for a few minutes, but when I regained my wits, I of course had to reply.

Me: Dude!!! Good!!! Okay!!! Only 499,000 more species to go, and we'll make our deadline. DO NOT FUCK THIS UP FOR ME, DUDE!!! I HAVE A CAT!!! HE'LL TOTALLY LEAVE ME IF I DON'T PROVIDE HIM WITH REGULAR FANCY FEAST!!!

...Her next suggestion was 'Loser-pus', which pretty much ended the joke, because I had to pretend to be offended, while secretly giggling to myself nefariously.

By this time, I was getting a weird look, so I just mumbled an apology/explanation/random sounds, and turned back to my computer, and pretended not to exist for a while. That usually works, because if you don't want to be seen, generally people don't want to see you either, which works out well for me and all the other easily startled shy people out there. I've also noticed that if you speak really low, and try to muffle your consonants, you can say pretty much anything to anyone without them responding/getting mad/hitting you with a tire-iron. You do not know true joy until you're muttering "Fuck you, I hate you, and I want you to die away from me." to someone you dislike, but otherwise can't be rude to. Did I mention that getting overly angry about little things helps me not to bring a gun into school and shoot everyone? Funny how that works.

God, working in customer service taught me so much.

Anyway, College calls, and I am its dutiful servant. 

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I am in: My bed
I'm feeling: amused amused
I am listening to: These Fangs - Impeccable Blahs

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I was discussing (or trying to. I didn't get terribly far, unfortunately) this comedy clip that I have on my computer. Dane Cook: Harmful if Swallowed. Specifically the portion concerning a query as to who gets killed by bees. She took some serious offense to that, saying that people die from bee stings all the time, and that most of those casualties are a result of accidentally stepping on bee hives. Now, I would imagine that children, and those that are severely allergic would be the most at risk, the former having smaller bodies, and the latter often afflicted with severe anaphylactic reactions, but apparently normal, reasonably intelligent people who go hiking and step on bee hives make up a good majority of bee sting victims.

 I read this really sad book once, called ‘The Taste of Blackberries’. It was about a young boy whose friend died from a bee sting, and how he dealt with the loss at such a young age, and made peace with it, and the like. It made me cry, which pissed me off, since we had to read it for school. Anyway, What kind of jerk teacher forces a kid who is about nine, or ten to read a book about coping with the death of someone close to you? Like a ten year old really needs that shit. I mean, I realize that some ten year olds have had family members die, and that teaching them to deal with it may have some benefit to it, but I am of the opinion that that is what therapy is for.

The end of term is coming up, and I’m not ready. Not at all. Not according to any interpretation of the word, am I ready for the damn semester tests. I’m so screwed.

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I am in: Living room.
I'm feeling: depressed depressed
I am listening to: Gone - Matt Nathanson

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"While the aesthetics and symmetry of Fibonacci spiral patterns has often attracted scientists, a mathematical or physical explanation for their common occurrence in nature is yet to be discovered. Recently, scientists have successfully produced Fibonacci spiral patterns in the lab, and found that an elastically mismatched bi-layer structure may cause stress patterns that give rise to Fibonacci spirals. The discovery may explain the widespread existence of the pattern in plants. Chaorong Li, of the Zhejiang Sci-Tech University and the Institute of Physics in Beijing, along with Ailing Ji and Zexian Cao, both of the Chinese Academy of Sciences, produced their Fibonacci spiral pattern by manipulating the stress on inorganic microstructures made of a silver core and a silicon dioxide shell. The spontaneous assembly of Fibonacci patterns has rarely been realized in the laboratory, and the scientists’ results suggest that plant patterns might be modeled by mutually repulsive entities for both spherical and conical surfaces."

Lately I'm interested in Fibonacci numbers. Fibonacci numbers are a sequence of numbers that after two starting values, each number is the sum of the two preceding numbers. they occur naturally, in such instances as the nautilus shell, and possibly in plants. I know this is my first post in a long time, but I've been busy.  =)


I've been watching Firefly like crazy. the series and the movie. And Slither. My goal, I think, is to memorize it. That sounds just about pathetic enough to peak my interest. I've also received an early Christmas present; the first three seasons of House. I enjoy house. I endeavor to be that angry and cynical some day.

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I'm feeling: chipper chipper
I am listening to: Not as goth as they say we are.-- The Impeccable Blahs

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I recently renewed contact with an old friend of mine who i had previously thought might be dead in a ditch somewhere, being utilized as a hobo's last chance for a meal. Needless to say, I'm rather happy. I'm also rather happy with the state of affairs at the moment, as most of my friends seem to be happy, and I have another month or so of summer. Not to mention there are two bottles of orange juice in the refrigerator. Orange juice = THE BEST THING EVER! Unless you've just finished brushing your teeth. That taste is evil. Like kicking puppies evil. I can't wait to start reading my books today. It's been a pretty hectic weekend, so I haven't gotten a chance to yet. All this drama in relation to what's happening on Oasiz...is ridiculous. Although I can understand and appreciate the fact that any time one brings together a group of human beings, there is bound to be hatred, and love, and unrequited emotion, I do not understand why it is up to me to deal with it. It seems like these people could find a better councilor than me. I mean they have the entire internet at their disposal, and they turn to me. What the hell? It's like I'm stuck in someone else's life. Since when do I care about other people, other than a select few? I want the new season of Family Guy to come out. And I also want my 4th season back. I lent it to a friend senior year, and I haven't seen it since. It has some really good episodes, and frankly, I'm tired of watching the third season over and over and over again. Not to deny that Family Guy is always funny, but after a while it just makes me tired. I mean, the repetition is getting to me. It's insane. I may need to start watching something else soon. Like Firefly. That would be alright with me. Speaking of which, I also want to get two Firefly shirts from http://www.cafepress.com. I want to get the "I aim to Misbehave" one, and the "Let's be Bad Guys.", both of which sound rather sinistrous, but when taken in context are really quite bad ass, not to mention that they are quotes from two of my favorite characters, Mal, and Jayne. (I also kind of wanted the 'Gee, don't you wish we had some GRENADES?!' one, but I think for the moment I'm going to limit myself to two, just to see how they fit, and such.) I had a few chores I had to do today, including taking the laundry downstairs, taking out the trash, and hooking up the new wireless modem (yay!). I don't mind doing chores really, because due to the snapped ligaments in my ankle, I was unable to get a job until August, and by that time, no one was interested in hiring someone for only one month. I'm just glad that my mother will never make me pay rent. That may be due in part to the fact that we've lived together for so long, and also because it is just the two of us. I think she might get lonely if she lived all by herself. At least, I like to tell myself that because it makes me feel a little better about mooching off of her. I guess I'm going to wait until the end of the summer to get a job, at which point I'll pay for the shirts, and to amend any debts that I may have accumulated.  more later

I'm feeling: apathetic apathetic
I am listening to: 100,000 Fireflies by the Magnetic Fields

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Today...was interesting. I passed my driver's test with a 91% (I got three wrong out of 23.), and took the worst I.D. picture in the history of pictures being taken for I.D.s. Seriously. I half wished that I could replace myself with a camel, or a cactus. At least then the picture would have been pretty. I stayed up all night studying for the stupid thing, which makes little to no sense, considering that half of my time was spent worrying, and the other half trying to pick through the god-awful presentation of the manual.
On a brighter note, I got to go to the book store today, and was able to purchase several books. One was a comic book called 'My Dead Girlfriend' , which is apparently recommended by Joss Whedon (Who I have somewhat mixed feelings for. I loved the first few seasons of Buffy and Angel, before they started to suck, and loved the ENTIRETY of Firefly, but am all the same time reluctant to pledge my undying loyalty for fear of the fact that he is quite possibly very much like the rest of Hollywood; I.E. a retarded liberal. Don't get me wrong. I can stand regular liberals. They've made a choice, and even if I think it's wrong, I respect them for sticking to their guns. What I don't respect is the liberal that chooses that point of view simply based on a biased media report, and the opinions of all the other Hollywood actors/directors/producers/whatever.) The other books purchased were 'Stardust' by Neil Gaiman, which I have been looking forward to reading ever since I saw the previews for the upcoming movie in the theater (when I went to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.) Unfortunately, at some point in the past one of my relatives bought the book, and so we had to search the entire house for a week before it was decided that we should just go buy the damn thing again. I have high hopes for this book, not in the least because it is written by Neil Gaiman, who I have a lot of respect for simply as a writer. I know very little about him otherwise, and I intend to keep it that way, for fear of the spontaneous hatred that I will loose in his general direction should we disagree on anything. Another book I'm looking forward to is 'Castle in the Air' by Diana Wynne Jones. The reason I'm so excited about this book (despite the fact that it's a children's book, and I'm certainly no longer a child despite how much I may wish that I was) is that it's the sequel to the book 'Howl's Moving Castle', which was AMAZING. I loved it so much. It's one of my favorite books. It rocked out so much harder than the movie, if you'll excuse my gratuitous use of phrasing garnered back during my Punk Rock days (I still listen to Punk Rock, but it's a secret.). From what I could tell on the back, it appears to have very little to do with the characters and even the world introduced in the first book, but I don't care. Even a small mention of Howl and Sophie is enough for me. That's how Fangirl-ish I am, which is pathetic, because I'm fangirling over characters from a book. At any rate, the third book is called 'Germ' by Robert Liparulo. From what I could gather from the description on the back, the book has a relatively complex story, one that involves the use of genetics in biological warfare. The gist of the book seems to be that some unknown party has created a list of people, all of whose DNA contains similar markers. The purpose of this is to either test, or perhaps implement a scheme to use said genetic markers as a target for which a mutated form of Ebola Virus is to aim. Apparently the virus will effect those lacking these genetic markers in a similar fashion to the common cold, while those carrying the marker will endure much worse. "Within days, their internal organs liquify." I can only assume that this is a trait of the mutation, and not the disease itself, because from what I can tell, Ebola Virus does not cause the organs to liquify, but causes massive hemorrhaging, that may facilitate the misconception of liquification. However, I am not a doctor, so I can't say for certain.

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I am in: The garbage disposal
I'm feeling: exhausted exhausted
I am listening to: Sonata No 4 in B-minor, Chopin

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I think that it's quite possible that this damn "Driver License Manual" was written by people who are obsessive compulsive, and have the common sense of a retarded lawn gnome. Not only does the grammar of the title offend reason, but the inside of it contains rules so convoluted that the Federal Government would refuse to touch it. (Not to bash said Federal Government, because I don't agree with a lot of the accusations that it doesn't take responsibility for the people. Come on guys, You've all presumably taken Civics and Government, you should know that WE are the government, and that it is the job of local government to assist in times of crisis, at least more quickly than the Federal government can respond. I really hated listening to all of those people bitching during the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina about how the Federal government should have done something---Like what? Flown in on magical ponies and saved every single person, and then given them some cookies? It was the damn Governor's responsibility not only to maintain the systems that kept the water out, but to also extract their people from the area. ) Anyway, my rant on politics aside, I honestly just wish that I could walk everywhere, or possibly that driving didn't need so many rules. Don't turn your car into traffic. Don't forget to signal, don't light your car on fire. Are there people that actually do these things? I mean seriously? I guess I could understand if they weren't paying attention briefly, but you'd think that otherwise, if they weren't under any stress or anything, as they would presumably not be in the case that they were studying the manual, that they wouldn't think  "Hey, that sounds like a nifty idea. I'm going to veer randomly out into traffic and hope I get killed! Yaaaaaay!"
Ever since I decided to stay in Sioux Falls for school instead of returning to Landmark College in Putney, I've been a lot happier. I've been able to start drawing again, and even learned a little on photoshop, which makes me feel a little better. I feel terrible, because even though I'm going to miss some of the friends I made there, like Leif, and Barbie, and Danny, and Kyle, etc, I was really crazy depressed about going back. The only problem with this decision is that it inevitably means that I'm going to have to learn how to drive. I've never been terribly interested in the subject, and I'm not going to lie; I'm still not. Despite the practical application, and the convenience, the idea of being inside of what could potentially turn into a metal coffin is terrifying enough without thinking about the fact that I'll be in control of it. I don't even trust myself to cut my bangs, I mean, Good Lord. My driver's test is literally tomorrow, and I'm no where near ready. The only way I can perceive myself passing is if I stay up all night to study, which I should have been doing all week, but was sleeping instead.
Good plan.
Procrastination always comes back to bite me in the butt, but I continuously rely on it, and somehow 'forget' that it doesn't work.  Whatever though. I don't care. Really. It's not a big deal. My problem, is that the driver's manual contains a plethora of useless information, but does not tell me the only thing that I want to know: Which is the pedal, and which is the brake? A simple question. I'm nineteen. I should know that, right? No. No I do not. This is what is going to be driving on the road with other people. Some of them old. Or children. Odds are if I don't want me driving around your children, YOU don't want me driving around your children.

God, I hope I pass, or I'm going to get an earful...

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I am in: the tupperware in the back of the fridge.
I'm feeling: annoyed annoyed
I am listening to: Meteorite, Kinda like a Star, Cherry Twister

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A friend of mine just linked me to an AMAZING clip on Youtube.com of a musical number in the Canadian production of Notre Dame de Paris. OH MY GOD!!!!  It's amazing. If you haven't seen it, you have to. Seriously. You will thank me, and possibly bombard me with presents for this. http://youtube.com/watch?v=aBXeXBpTVOk
I'm usually not a person who enjoys anything that occurs in the French language. It is my firm belief that if god had intended us to speak through our noses, he would not have gifted us with mouths. Despite this, the players in this production completely blew me away. The number is divided among three individuals, The hunchback, the priest, and the bachelor, (though said bachelor is soon to be married) all of who want to love one woman. At the beginning, the hunchback opens the song with longing lines about how he wishes to touch her hair, and would give his soul to be around her. He is a representation of pure love, with a gritty, rather harsh voice that fits the character perfectly. The second third is performed by the priest, and speaks about his carnal desire for the beautiful woman, casting her down, and viewing her as original sin, as she draws his gaze away from god. He is the representation of carnal lust. The third portion is sung by the bachelor, who seems to merely want to possess the woman, to be the first to own her, as it were. He represents the shallow side of love.
I don't care if you hate musicals, I don't care if you hate French, I don't care if you hate everything in the world, you will look at this clip, or I will have no respect for you. Seriously. It's a beautiful piece. I've literally been obsessed with it, listening to it over and over again.

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I am in: The junk drawer.
I'm feeling: bouncy bouncy
I am listening to: Notre Dame de Paris, Belle

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