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I hate River Song. - Confessions of a Flipflop Revolutionary
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flipflopgangsta
flipflopgangsta
I hate River Song.
I've been watching the seasons of Doctor Who lately, and I find that I'm really liking it (the new series--I haven't seen the old one), except that as an avid Rose/Doctor fan, the seasons beyond the second were a tiny bit depressing for me. But with that said, I've always been a little bit fond of the Doctor's other companions. Jack is awesome, of course, as is Rose, which goes without saying, and Martha was a sweetheart even if she was a little bit misguided, and smitten. Donna Noble rocks my ASS because she's so awesome, and I even enjoy Amy Pond and Rory, although hilariously, in the first episode of the 5th season, the fact that the Doctor was so horrified with Amy's friend Jeff ("Blimey, Jeff. Get a girlfriend."') made me like Jeff a lot more than I might have. Granted, my experience is limited. I even liked Mickey, who started the series as kind of a loser putz. But as much as I'm really, really, really, really trying to LIKE River Song, because of all of the fan-love that she gets, I hate her guts. I sort of expected that this would be the case after perusing all of the Doctor Who fanfiction, and finding her ass stuck in there. And then I watched the episodes, and it made me want to stab myself in the head until I bled to death all over the living room. I seriously can't stand her. There is this element of Mary Sue that's just rage-inducing. "I'm the parfectist woman, I know ur tru naem, lulz, I'm awesum and in the footure we are the hapyist cupple evaaar, lawlawlawlawlawlawlawlawlawlawlawl!"  And just. There are no words for how much I hate this bullshit enough to send me into raving, frothing rants that last forever. I seriously can't stand the sort of woman that she is. I want to light the people who refuse to give me spoilers on fire, and dance around their dead, burning bodies like it's a goddamn ritual feast. I'm also annoyed, because I was really, really liking this new Doctor a lot, and if he's going to be consorting with River Song, I'm very, very upset. My life was so much simpler when I only obsessed over Firefly. Plus, that River was cool.

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I'm feeling: aggravated aggravated

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Comments
ghostinthemist From: ghostinthemist Date: August 30th, 2011 11:52 am (UTC) (Link)

Thank you!

I hate her ass too!
betawho From: betawho Date: August 30th, 2011 05:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
I guess I'm the opposite. I couldn't stand being told repeated how awesome Rose was, especially when she so rarely did anything to prove it. She was a good Companion, but I just couldn't see her as the Doctor's "one great love." Although I never doubted he loved her, it was also obvious to me that he also knew it could never last.

The thing I like about River is that she could last. And she' doesn't really need the Doctor, she can get by all by herself. She's not as dependent on him for everything. (This last episode notwithstanding - even River was a teenager at some point.)

I can certainly see why people are annoyed by the Mary Sueness of her character, because she is blatantly being written and created to be his "perfect" match. Both by the forces in the story, as well as by Moffat as the writer.

But while her whole life, through no fault of her own, was designed and shaped around the Doctor, I think River eventually transcends that.

And I just like that she's a more mature woman (at least the later River) because I think the Doctor would need a mature, understanding woman.

Rose was always a bit too in awe of the Doctor to really be a life partner to him. She felt more like a fan or groupie of the Doctor than as a woman who would be there for him through the hard times. I do sometimes wonder what Rose would have done if the Doctor had ever fallen off his pedestal with her. I'm not sure her love would have survived it. But I think River's would, because River is just as screwed up, and screwed over as he is. Rose was just a little too "perfect" in her normalness.
flipflopgangsta From: flipflopgangsta Date: October 27th, 2011 04:33 am (UTC) (Link)
I don't disagree in particular with any of your arguments, although perhaps the bit about Rose. Life partners come in all shapes and sizes after all. Anyway, I find no specific flaw with the writing or the IDEA of River Song. The actress who plays her, and the...I suppose 'quirks' of her personality make her too abrasive for me to be a fan of her.
From: nxtnewcompanion Date: May 16th, 2013 05:21 pm (UTC) (Link)

The River Needs to Dry Up and the Song Needs to End Already

I hated River the first time we met her in the Library. It was CLEARLY OBVIOUS to anyone with 1/2000th of one eye working, that the Doctor didn't have the first clue who she was, yet she kept on and on about them as if she would jog his memory or something. I just wanted him to sonic her the hell out of existence way before it actually happened.

Then she shows up in the Eleventh Doctor's storyline bossing him around like a bitch, "ooh, Doctor, will you sonic me?" Again, the hell out of existence already.

I think the most incredibly stupid thing I have ever seen on any television show EVER was when she was revealed to be Melody. Really? Really? REALLY? Made me hate her even more.

Then we get to the "wedding." This is my major rant. All over all these boards, people are hating on Clara because the Doctor is "married," or "in love" with River. Gag me.

The events of "The Wedding of River Song" took place in alternate time line that occurred because she was too stupid to not alter history. The Doctor was not "in love" with her; he was protective of her because she was someone he'd met and "saved" previously and because she was the daughter of his best friends. He "married" her in an act of desperation to make her see reason and undo the damage she had done. As for the "wedding," we only have the Doctor's word that that's how a Time Lord gets hitched. According to River, Rule #1 is that the Doctor lies. Also, since Amy didn't really kill Madame K because it was an alternate reality that never happened, wouldn't it also stand to reason that River never married the Doctor for the same reasons. Can't have it both ways, Sweetie.

What really did it for me was after Amy and Rory were gone, she didn't even offer him so much as a squeezed hand. I mean, the love of your life/soul-mate/husband loses his best friends and you won't even give him a shoulder to cry on?

If there were any way I could be in Saturday's episode, I would be dancing on her grave.
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